Choosing people to serve as guardians of your children is often the most difficult part of creating an estate plan. Putting it off, however, can have dire consequences. If you have not nominated guardians it is quite possible that if something happens to you, your children could be put in the care of the state Social Services until a judge can appoint guardians for them. Most parents, even if they don’t know who they do want to serve as guardians, are positive that they don’t want their children to end up in the care of Social Services.
If you are having trouble choosing guardians, knowing what you don’t want can actually be a good place to start. Begin with Social Services, and work backwards from there. You probably also don’t want your alcoholic uncle to be parenting your children, or your deep in debt cousin. After some thought perhaps you decide that your aging parents are an option—but only as a last resort. You might then think that your brother and sister-in-law have a different discipline style than you do, but are loving parents, and are therefore people you are comfortable nominating in a back-up role. Finally, you might realize that the couple you feel the most comfortable asking to be guardians of your children are your dear friends, the ones you met at the parent’s club, and with whom you spend most weekends and holidays.
Suddenly you not only have a list of guardians and back-up guardians, but you also know that you need to create an anti-nomination of guardians for any abusive relatives that might someday end up as guardians of your children.
Take the time to make a list and talk to your attorney about it. Choosing guardians may be the hardest thing you do as parents, but choosing responsible and loving caregivers for your children is the best thing you can do for them. And it will give you peace of mind as well.
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